Back on the rails

I'm no stranger to the occasional relationship argument, especially if I knew I was right and my partner was wrong.

For years, my defense strategy was to pummel the other person with logic and reason about why they were wrong. But I learned that it usually didn't make an iota of difference--and often resulted in a tense standoff.

In case you've had similar experiences, here are some ways I've found to defuse the tension and get the lines of communication back on the rails:

You recognize that everyone's truth of "what happened" is different, and that yours is not necessarily the right truth. Next, you understand that even though the person may be blaming you, when you peel back the layers, it's never really about you. And finally, you entertain the notion that maybe, just maybe, you could be wrong, and lead with that possibility as you attempt to resolve it.